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   Radio Control Models        Adult Jokes & Fun Section. Jokes Page 0023
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Radio Control Models - Jokes Section With An Adult Theme.
A wise old boy became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for £500, if not cured, get back £1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000
So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me??"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: Aaagh!! -- "This is petrol!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be £500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything".
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is petrol!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be £500."
Dr. Young (after having lost £1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak -- I can hardly see anything!!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so here's your £1000 back." (giving him a £10 bill)?
Dr. Young: "But this is only £10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be £500."
Moral of the story - Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"!

The Halloween Party.
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.
Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early enough, decided to go to the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little touch here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and, being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe who had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away, and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
"Did you dance much?"
He said,   "You know, I never even danced one dance, when I got there, I met Pete, Bill Browning, and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening - But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to..."

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of £10 Million.
His bookkeeper is deaf, and that was the reason he got the job in the first place, it was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing £10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is."
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signals to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK, you win.
The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says get lost, you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

This is why people don't trust Senior Citizens . . . . .
The other day I went over to a nearby chemist.
When I got there, I went straight to the back of the Shop to where the pharmacy counter is located.
I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.
The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me.
I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?"
Being I'm a Senior Citizen, I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me.
He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around.
Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing.
When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, "Now, does that taste sweet to you?"
The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL NO!!!"
So I said, "Oh thank God! That's such a relief, my Doctor told me to get a Pharmacist to test my urine for sugar!"
Well, I can never go back to that chemist, but I really don't care - because they aren't very friendly there anyway!!!

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Wow Ron, how long you been here? How did you talk your missus into letting you go ?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie.
She said she had been reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!!
She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!
She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

Then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So . . . . here I am!

The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit!  What seems to be the problem?"
"Madam," the policeman replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit?  No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly, twenty-two miles an hour!" ......the old woman says, a bit proudly.
The policeman, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that A22 is the road number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the policeman for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, madam, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK?  These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a sound this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer.  We've just come off the A120."

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the American Legion Post.
A ragged old Army ground-pounder was standing near the edge, with a fishing line in the dark murky puddle, a bobber in sight.
A curious young Marine Fighter Pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.
"Fishing." the old Sergeant simply said.
'Poor old fool' the Marine thought to himself, and he invited the old Army Soldier into the bar for a drink.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the haughty Fighter Pilot asked, "And how many have you caught today?  You're number ten." the old Army Sergeant answered. 
“Two Air Force, three Navy and five Marines.”

A husband and wife who worked for the circus went to an adoption agency. 
Social workers there raised doubts about their suitability. 
The couple produced photos of their 45-foot motor home, which was
clean, well maintained and equipped with a beautiful bedroom for the
child.
The social workers raised concerns about the education a child would
receive while in the couple's care.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the
usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
The social workers expressed concern about a child being raised in a
circus environment.
"Our nanny is a certified expert in paediatric care, welfare, and diet.
In addition, there are 17 other children who travel with their circus
parents."
The social workers were finally satisfied.
They asked, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits into the cannon."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
To visit the  'Home Page'  for Radio Control Models in a new Window, please click on this hyperlink.
If you are considering selling up and would like to sell the complete package for cash, call Mike on Godalming 01483  421425 
Mike Burton   
3 Overbrook
Godalming       Telephone No.  01483 421425
Surrey                     Mobile No.  07711 524761
GU7  1LX                 
UK

 

email      mike@radiocontrolmodels.co.uk

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Radio Control Models - Jokes - Page 23 -